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January 2016 Lotus Guide column

 

Q: My mother was critical and unpredictable so as an adult I carry around a fair amount of worry. What can I do?

A: Think of a variety of shoes, ranging from the old woman who lived in a shoe to something a monarch or a rock star would wear. Pick out one, fill it with worry, and let it drop and turn to dust. Sometimes being afraid of when the next shoe will drop is more draining that facing the worst and then letting it go.

 

Q: People talk about mind over matter, but is there any evidence that this is true?

A: Plenty. My favorite is that people with multiple personality disorder have very different health issues with different alters: One will have diabetes and another not, one need glasses and another not. The impact of the placebo effect is well known but not utilized adequately by the medical community, although epigenetics research found that gene expression is changed by our attitudes and behaviors. Candace Pert’s Molecules of Emotion explains the physiology of the impact of emotions on what ligands are accepted into cell receptors (summarized in my Essential Energy Tools book). Thousands of lab experiments show that intention changes matter, such as the rate of oxygen released by yeast. Quantum physics discovered that potentiality is influenced just by observation that determines if a wave or particle manifests. Check out books by Dr. Dean Radin at the Institute of Noetic Sciences and see studies at energypsych.org/research for more evidence that our minds are powerful when guided by positive intention.

 

Q: I’m facing a life-threatening illness. What can I do to complement my mainstream medical treatments?

A: A body heals more effectively if it’s balanced and charged with chi. Eat fresh veggies and fruit and juice more veggies to drink. Read Dr. Andrew Weil’s book Spontaneous Healing. Exercise daily in the sun and do deep breathing to bring in healing chi and read Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine. Also, see her YouTube video “Donna Eden’s Daily Energy Routine Official Version. The body manifests your beliefs, as we saw above, so give thanks each day that your immune system is strong and your body is healing, and becoming fully aware of any lessons involved, such as it’s time to pay attention to your inner life. Visualize gold suns emptying out healing energy from head to toe through every cell. On the energy side, do cross-crawls from opposite elbow to knee and imagine looking at horizontal infinity signs or lazy 8s for a bilateral rather than unhealthy homolateral orientation of your energy field. Author and healer Barbara Brennan sees the first layer of the aura, the template for the physical body, as vertical blue lines. Rub your palms together and send gold healing flames from your fingertips to comb the blue lines so they’re evenly spaced, no gaps or tangles.

 

Q: I’ve lost my wife, my home, and my job over the past year. I don’t have the energy to start over. What can I do?

A: Realize you have reason to grieve and be depressed and treat them with techniques listed above and a gratitude journal. Gratitude also helps keep organs like the heart healthy, according to Professor Paul Mills at the UC San Diego School of Medicine. Commit to a half hour a day doing job searches. Once you begin, you’ll get energized.

Q: My elementary school son comes home exhausted because he’s so sensitive. How can we strengthen him?

A: Read the Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aaon for coping techniques and practice my Kids’ Mind Power and Shambhala’s Sitting Still Like a Frog CD visualizations. Emphasize that thoughts are powerful and that your son can establish boundaries and not absorb other people’s energies by imagining flying saucers or catchers’ milts 360 degrees around him. Blow them up with fireworks to clear and then visualize new ones. He can imagine putting on headphones playing his favorite music so he’s not bothered by classroom noise. See an 11-year-old’s illustration of some of the tools on FB pages Global Youth SpeakOut and Test Success.

 

Q: My older brother was a bully who beat up on me throughout my childhood making me feel afraid. Now I have autoimmune physical problems. Is there a connection?

A: Whenever I do sessions with someone with a similar health problem, they all had to repress childhood anger. This confuses and impairs the immune system. You might want to write a nasty letter to your brother and burn it, cuss out loud at him when you’re alone, and do acupressure tapping on “I’m afraid I’m a chicken.” Then tap on forgiveness for your brother, your parents for not protecting you, and God. Focus on the strength and compassion you’ve gained from the difficult karma.

 

Q: A fellow worker is nasty and rude to me. What can I do?

A: Start with the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono forgiveness technique. Say to yourself, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” Also remember that people project their unresolved negativity on people who trigger the buried emotions by reminding them of someone familiar. It’s about her more than you.

 

Q: My older sister and I are both in our 20s. She still tries to boss me around and is judgmental. She’s done everything expected of her and I haven’t. How can I change this irritating relationship?

  1. Read and discuss Please Understand Me by Keirsey and Bates with your sister. You’ll find your sister is a “J” type that likes structure, routine, checking things off her list, and predictability while you’re a “P” who likes spontaneity, is easy going, artistic, and playful. What I learned from this approach is that one temperament is not better than the other and they can provide balance for each other.

 

Q: I’m finishing up my degree but I can’t get myself to really do a job search. How can I get motivated?

A: what I see blocking you is the deep old message from your dad not to outshine him or take up too much of your mom’s attention. What I’d like for you to do is be very aware of how you feel when you’re around him so you can break the pattern. You don’t need to say anything to him, just be aware of your body’s reactions, see if you feel smaller or whatever. Get help from your university career placement center and send out one application a day.

 

Q: I’m an athletic guy, not at all happy that my left shoulder bone is disintegrating. Any hope for me?

A: I believe that any disharmony in the body is a metaphor. A shoulder injury can symbolize feeling unsupported, taking on too much weight, feeling burdened.

Also, the left is yin, receiving, indicating it needs more nurturance in comparison to the active yang right side. In addition to changing your emotional habits, I’m sure you’re consulting complementary and alternative health practioners to slow progress of the problem.

 

In addition to mainstream medical practice, complementary techniques help get well. A body heals more effectively if it’s balanced and charged with chi. Eat fresh veggies and fruit and juice more veggies to drink. Read Dr. Andre Weil’s book Spontaneous Healing. Exercise daily in the sun and do deep breathing to bring in healing chi and read Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine. The body manifests your beliefs, as we saw above, so give thanks each day that your immune system is strong and your body is healing, and becoming fully aware of any lessons involved, such as it’s time to pay attention to your inner life. Visualize gold suns emptying out healing energy from head to toe through every cell. On the energy side, do cross-crawls from opposite elbow to knee and imagine looking at horizontal infinity signs or lazy 8s for a bilateral rather than unhealthy homolateral orientation of your energy field. Author and healer Barbara Brennan sees the first layer of the aura, the template for the physical body, as vertical blue lines. Rub your palms together and send gold healing flames from your fingertips to comb the blue lines so they’re evenly spaced, no gaps or tangles.

Of the 19 claims of Carson the fact checking site PolitiFact has delved into, none have been ruled true and only one mostly true. Indeed most — like Carson’s claim that he “ ‘didn’t have an involvement with’ nutritional supplement company Mannatech” — have either been ruled false or what the site calls “pants on fire,” a statement the site rules as not only not accurate, but “ridiculous.” He also believes in a 6-day creation and that the pyramids were made for grain storage, and thinks Darwin betrayed his Christian faith.

Foods Help Focus

Diet can influence ability to focus. Certain foods provide the brain with the necessary nourishment to help you concentrate. Walnuts, blueberries, salmon, avocados, extra virgin olive oil, pumpkin seeds, dark chocolate, leafy greens, eggs, yogurt, oatmeal, peppermint tea.
http://www.chopra.com/ccl/12-foods-to-help-you-focus?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=CCL%20Newsletter%20151103&utm_campaign=November#sthash.2xplhoQd.dpuf

Processed meats have been placed in the same health risk category as smoking and asbestos by the cancer research body of the World Health Organization (WHO) on Monday.

Products that have been salted, cured, or otherwise processed to enhance flavor are “carcinogenic to humans,” the Paris-based International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) found in its report, published in the Lancet Oncology. That puts processed meat in the Group 1 carcinogenic category alongside substances like tobacco, alcohol, and plutonium. And non-processed fresh meats like beef, pork, and lamb, among others, are “probably carcinogenic to humans,” the agency said.

http://www.commondreams.org/news/2015/10/26/processed-meats-pose-severe-cancer-risk-says-who

Advice Column October 2015

September 2015 LG Column

Q: My life is a struggle and not very fun. What’s the point of continuing?

A: We’re here to evolve, to do service, and enjoy the creation. Make a list of what’s fun and nurturing for you, and do something at least once a week. Exercise and meditation are natural remedies for depression, as is helping others and writing about gratitude every day. Avoid energy drains such as negative people, procrastination, and regrets about the past. Negative self-talk is very powerful because thoughts create thought forms and attract what we focus on. UC Berkeley’s Greater Good: the Science of a Meaningful Life Center offers positive ways to enhance your life: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu. Also, DNA expression can be changed with our habits, so change your unconscious beliefs with a therapist and by consistently writing down your dreams. You might find my Mind Power workshop at the Chico Yoga Center useful for harnessing the power of thought.

Q: I’m too wrapped up in my business. How can I not be so consumed by it?

A: Try this affirmation: “My work is not me and won’t travel with me to the afterlife.” Imagine you in an iridescent energy bubble and your work in another to create healthy separation.

Q: I have a brain tumor so I’m thrown into thinking about death. What’s your take on it?

A: It’s inevitable. As the Buddha taught, the unchanging truth is impermanence.

Most of the thousands of near-death experiences report feeling blissful. Many only come back from the other dimension because they want to help loved ones. The hard part of death is leaving people we love on this dimension and if death follows a long illness. Opportunities for growth are available in most challenges. As Carlos Castenada’s character Don Juan said, we should all live as if death is over the left shoulder so we don’t put things off or take life for granted.

Q: All religions that I know about believe in an afterlife, but is there any real evidence that this is true?

A: Our senses aren’t accurate when dealing with subtle energy in the world of quarks and atoms described by Quantum mechanics. The math of String Theory concluded there are10 dimensions although we only know 3 space and one time dimension. You can hear the archive of a lively debate on KCHO about the afterlife with a skeptic and me: http://mynspr.org/topic/nancys-bookshelf#stream/0. Evidence that spirit continues is listed on my WordPress blog.

Q: I’m looking for reliable sources of information about holistic health remedies. My ignorant nurse practitioner said she didn’t have time to learn about them.

A: I recommend consulting “drweil.com” for natural remedies. He’s trained at an Ivy League med school and heads the alt. health program at University of Arizona medical school. I recommend his free weekly newsletters for you and your NP. Dr. James Balsch’s books list many natural remedies as does the radio show “People’s Pharmacy” website.

Q: My carport and garage are covered with tools such as five handsaws that I don’t need, but I can’t get myself to clean them out. What can I do to get going?

A: Set aside a half hour a day to clean out—set a timer. Hire a student to help you so you have to focus on the job to supervise. Ask when you last used an item and if it’s not recent, put in receptacles for recycles, trash, give away, or keep.

Q: Snooping on my boyfriend is breaking my mental health, but it’s also reinforcing that I can’t completely believe him. Help! I think I might have some PTSD from my dad’s perpetual lying and cheating. I have to fight demon thoughts that my boyfriend is lying and cheating on me.

A: Clean out your leftover unconscious beliefs with a therapist, write down your dreams so you’re conscious of your fears, and use Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s the best way I know to clear out old patterns.

Q: What’s mindfulness meditation? I see it mentioned in studies of how to reduce stress.

A: Mindfulness meditation comes from Buddhism, developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn who generated lots of research on its positive effect. You can start by focusing your attention on your breathing or ambient sounds. There’s a lot of information on the Internet for you to explore.

Sept. 2014 advice column

Sept 2014 Lotus Guide column

Q: I haven’t had great success in selecting boyfriends. Suggestions?

A: We pick the familiar in terms of our childhood experiences with our own caregivers, so work with a therapist to identify your patterns. When you find yourself attracted to the old type, be very mindful and cautious. Men who have controlling dominating mothers tend to be withholding because of their fear of losing their masculinity, unless they’re open to working on their fears. Guys whose mothers expected them to share in family work and do their own laundry make good partners. Gorgeous men can get spoiled and expect their partners to do all the relationship work. You can also compare your natal astrology charts to see where connections tend to be easy or challenging. http://www.alwaysastrology.com/learn-astrology.html

http://alabe.com/freechart/

 

Q: A good friend of mine died suddenly. How can I grieve effectively?

A: You can still communicate with her. Rituals are helpful in life transitions, so you might want to get together with friends and create a simple goodbye and calibration of his or her life. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is the expert on death and grief. She says, “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.”

 

Q: I’m having procrastination problems big time. How can I get myself to take action?

A: Start with behavior modification: Give yourself rewards for taking action. Put one task that needs to be done on an index card with the steps to achieve it written on the back. Sort the cards by high priority and just focus on the high priority task so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Establish a routine where you allocate say an hour a day to work on the number one task. You’ll get more energy once you cross an item off your list. You can adopt the successful model of 12-step programs for addicts and find a buddy who can support you, check on you, and encourage you to get past the feeling of powerlessness. Also, talk to your inner child subpersonality who may be sabotaging your success. Imagine that you are having a conversation with an encouraging fairy godmother. What would she say to the recalcitrant child in you? Here’s a useful article on procrastination.

http://www.chopra.com/ccl/how-to-stop-procrastinating?utm_campaign=FIRST%20LOOK&utm_source=2015%20First%20Look%20Launch&utm_medium=email

 

Q: How do I save money?

A: First, keep track of every expenditure for a month. See what you can cut out, such as making coffee or tea at home and bringing it with you in a thermos. But household cleaning items like vinegar at a dollar store and recycled clothes at second hand shops that fund charities. If you have a yard have a few hens to eat your leftovers and fertilize your garden (Rhode Island Reds are steady egg producers) or join a community garden. Bike instead of drive. With the money you save give to your favorite causes and if you itemize your taxes, deduct your donations.

 

Q: My adult children are upset that I asked their drunk father to move out. They have drinking problems too.

A: Sometimes tough love is in order. Attend Al-Anon so you have support to continue doing the right thing by not enabling addiction. You have no obligation to spend time with addicts.

 

Q: I’m in love with my toddler’ mother but we can’t live together. She’s always creating drama, too often screaming and hitting me in front of our daughter. I want to be her rock but I want to get on with my life. I’m feeling like I should run away to an “unknown” place, far away, drink drinks, sleep under the stars on the beach and just forget the reality. Sometimes it can be the small things in life that makes the whole cup to overflows. Some days, life just sucks so bad.

A: Read about borderline personality disorder, then read about co-dependency to realize you probably can’t rescue such a neurotic person. For the sake of your daughter, I wouldn’t spend time with her mom. Make sure your daughter is in high quality childcare so she has structure and is observed by experts. If you feel like your ex is abusing your daughter, then you need to report it to child protective services.

 

Q: It’s difficult for me to be assertive, to speak my own truth. How can I get more brave?

A: Imagine matching the energy of an outspoken person such as Angelina Jolie. See some of her action movies to get the feeling of being powerful. Ground and center (see gaylekimball.info), and visualize speaking to people through a filter that clarifies and enhances your message. Start practicing with small conflicts or misunderstandings and you’ll improve.

 

Q: I don’t have any hope for my future, no girlfriend, a single dad with money issues and little free time after a physically tiring job. How can I feel better?

A: The billion hungry people on the planet would love to have your problems, as would infertile couples, and the unemployed. Write down one thing you’re grateful for each morning as studies show gratitude improves mood. Email me for my ebook on mental health remedies. Avoid depressants like alcohol and toxins like tobacco. Exercise is the best natural remedy for feeling better, worth getting up a half hour earlier to structure into your day. Eckhart Tolle suggests, “Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. . .this will miraculously transform your whole life.”

 

Q: How do I develop clairvoyant abilities?

A: My Essential Energy Tools book and videos answer your question.

 

Q: My boss is irrational and controlling, not supportive in many ways. I like the people I work with but not my boss.

A: Add humor and playfulness, as by silently giving your boss points for the most irrational event of the day. Amusement provides perspective. Think of your life as a pie with slices. Reduce the amount of energy you give to work. Snap your fingers when you leave work to separate from it emotionally. Create fun and adventure in areas where you have more control.

 

Q: My partner is mean to me and every request is a demand. How do I change him?

A: Model the kind of behavior you’d like. Use “I feel…because… and suggest…as a possible solution, so he’s clear what bothers you and what he can do about it. If he won’t go to a therapist to learn better communication skills, you may need to leave him. Live is too short to be miserable.

 

Q: I get tense about meeting self-imposed deadlines at work. How can I be more relaxed?

A: When ever you start to get tense, or every hou, breathe in for the count of 8, hold for 8, exhale like holding up a feather as long as it takes to empty your lungs, and don’t breathe for as long as comfortable. The latter resets the energy field, according to author Gay Hendricks. Post relaxing pictures in your work space and imagine being in a beautiful place.

 

Q: I’m a recent college graduate, very pessimistic about a job search.

A: It’s true that 44% of recent grads are unemployed, and many will find work in jobs that don’t require a degree, but the job growth is in jobs that require a college education and college grads earn a lot more on average than high school grads. It only takes one good job and 66% are getting jobs. Change your self-talk from “I can’t” to it just takes one job, I’m in the 66%. Your irrational pessimistic self-personality is running the show. Read Voice Dialogue about how our sub-personalities operate and the importance of encouraging the rational self to run the show.

http://voicedialogueinternational.com/pdf/The_Basic_Elements_Of_Voice_Dialogue_Relationship_And_The_Psychology_Of_Selves.pdf

 

 

Q: A co-worker is into drama and upset. How do I not get stressed by her?

Q: cervical cancer

Q: self-discipline

 

Q: Hunk guy didn’t tell me has a girlfriend in another city.

Q: series of incidents where people are in my space, demanding

 

 

Q: negativity

Humor—two year old not getting her way, satellite dishes send back dirt to build wall, surround your aura with what they don’t like, put the person in the light of truth and goodness with the reminder that what goes around, comes around. Dear Gayle: I send you pictures of my friend Augusto Gómez Fuentes,
that it only requested to be mentioned in the credits.
I send them to separate because they weigh much.
Let me know if you like any, but we are looking for more!

 

Q: I take on other people’s stuff.

Q: I’m a recent college graduate, very pessimistic about a job search.

A: It’s true that 44% of recent grads are unemployed, and many will find work in jobs that don’t require a degree, but the job growth is in jobs that require a college education and college grads earn a lot more on average than high school grads. It only takes one good job and 66% are getting jobs. Change your self-talk from “I can’t” to it just takes one job, I’m in the 66%. Your irrational pessimistic self-personality is running the show. Read Voice Dialogue about how our sub-personalities operate and the importance of encouraging the rational self to run the show.

http://voicedialogueinternational.com/pdf/The_Basic_Elements_Of_Voice_Dialogue_Relationship_And_The_Psychology_Of_Selves.pdf

 

Q: My daughter-in-law and I don’t get along but I want to see my grandson.

 

Q: My live-in boyfriend isn’t ambitious

 

 
Gah, feeling right now just FUCK school, degree and all the rest of my adversities in my life… That pops up one after another, or still keep coming back. I keep asking myself “What’s really worth in life, to fight for, sacrifice, believe in and how MUCH can you really take..?!” Just feeling like I should run away to a “unknown” place, far away, drink drinks, sleep under the stars on the beach and just forget the reality. Sometimes it can be the small things in life that makes the whole cup to overflows.. Some days, life just sucks so bad.. But as always, I’ll be okay and most of the times, I find a way trough it. Even if it right now feels like hell. “Let me forget the real life, at least for a while” …

 

 

Q: My grandson’s single mother allows him to stay up late doing video games, then sleep during the day, and he’s not doing well in school.

 

Q: guy is coming on to me, not interested.

 

Q: Travel tips

A: Tickets are cheaper on Tuesdays. Take a bandana to tie around your eyes and earplugs so you can lean against your window seat and sleep. Take snacks and an empty water bottle to fill after you get past security.

 

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