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Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

The meaning of Christmas

Reminder on the occasion of his supposed birthday that Jesus was a radical who violated Old Testament taboos against discussing theology with women including a woman of ill repute, said it was better for women to be talking theology than be in the kitchen like Martha, healed bleeding people and gentiles, overturned the money changer’s tables in the temple, said it was hard for rich people to get to heaven, be like children, said to turn the other cheek and it’s spirit that counts rather than the letter of the law. The only current Christian world leader I can think of who acts and speaks as a Christian is Pope Francis. All the supposed Christian politicians who cut social welfare programs and education are the opposite of Christian.Reminder on the occasion of his supposed birthday that Jesus was a radical who violated Old Testament taboos against discussing theology with women including a woman of ill repute, said it was better for women to be talking theology than be in the kitchen like Martha, healed bleeding people and gentiles, overturned the money changer’s tables in the temple, said it was hard for rich people to get to heaven, be like children, said to turn the other cheek and it’s spirit that counts rather than the letter of the law. The only current Christian world leader I can think of who acts and speaks as a Christian is Pope Francis. All the supposed Christian politicians who cut social welfare programs and education are the opposite of Christian.

Ask Dr. Gayle Kimball advice column, health, love, money

LG Sept 2014 column

Q: I haven’t had great success in selecting boyfriends. Suggestions?

A: We pick the familiar in terms of our childhood experiences with our parents, so work with a therapist to identify your patterns. When you find yourself attracted to the old type, be very mindful and cautious. Men who have controlling dominating mothers tend to be withholding because of their fear of losing their masculinity, unless they’re open to working on their fears. Guys whose mothers expected them to share in family work and do their own laundry make good partners. Gorgeous men and women can get spoiled and expect their partners to do all the relationship work. You can also compare your natal astrology charts to see where connections tend to be easy or challenging. http://www.alwaysastrology.com/learn-astrology.html



Q: I’d like to age well, keep my energy and health up. Suggestions?

A: Daily exercise is an essential key to mental and physical health. I need to go to gym classes because I wouldn’t do Pilates or Pump for an hour on my own, while gardening provides sunlight and Vitamin D. You can buy a pedometer and aim to get in 10,000 steps a day. Fruits and veggies are essential too, along with fiber and healthy fats like olive oil or avocado. I cheat by including powdered greens and fruits in my smoothies. Having a clear purpose helps us live longer, including a feeling that you’re helping others along the way. For me, it’s writing books, doing energy work, and helping care for my little grandson. Gratitude is also uplifting. I thank my roses and veggies every time I pick them and I chant mantras when I’m gardening or driving. Structure in time for fun and nurturance, for me that’s dancing, hiking, and getting massages. Get ideas for increasing happiness from http://www.happify.com and UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Scientists report that only 10% of our happiness is due to our circumstances such as wealth, while the rest is due to our attitude and activities interacting with our genetics. Worry and negative self-talk harm the immune system, as does repressing emotions. Take my Mind Power workshop at the Yoga Center to get ideas about how to stay balanced mentally and emotionally.


Q: How do I develop clairvoyant abilities?

A: My Essential Energy Tools book, CD and videos are a start. (Kids’ Mind Power is my CD for kids.)


Q: I’m in love with my toddler’s mother but we can’t live together. She’s always creating drama, often screaming and hitting me in front of our daughter. I want to be her rock but I want to get on with my life. I’m feeling like I should run away to an unknown place, far away, and just forget the reality. Sometimes it can be the small things in life that makes the whole cup to overflows. Some days, life just sucks so bad. Any hope for me?

A: Read about borderline personality disorder, then read about co-dependency to realize you probably can’t rescue such a neurotic person. For the sake of your daughter, I wouldn’t spend time with her mom because parental conflict damages kids. Make sure your daughter is in high quality childcare so she has structure and is observed by experts. If you feel like your ex is abusing your daughter, then you need to report it to child protective services and seek sole custody.


Q: It’s difficult for me to be assertive, to speak my own truth. How can I get braver?

A: Imagine matching the energy of an outspoken person such as Angelina Jolie. See some of her action movies to get the feeling of being powerful. Ground and center (see gaylekimball.info), and visualize speaking to people through a filter that clarifies and enhances your message. Assertiveness training workshops and books are available, as are self-defense classes that could teach courage. Start practicing standing up for yourself with small conflicts or misunderstandings and you’ll get stronger.


Q: I get tense about deadlines at work. How can I be more relaxed?

A: When ever you start to get tense, or every hour, breathe in for the count of 8, hold for 8, exhale like holding up a feather as long as it takes to empty your lungs, and don’t breathe for as long as comfortable. The latter resets the energy field, according to breath expert Gay Hendricks. Stretch and walk around to keep your body from getting tense, squat and stand (see Joan Vernikos, Sitting Kills, Moving Heals). Post relaxing pictures in your work space and imagine being in a beautiful place. See http://www.helpguide.org/mental/quick_stress_relief.htm


Q: A good friend of mine died suddenly. How can I cope with my grief?

A: You can still communicate with her, imagine conversing with her. Rituals are helpful in life transitions, so you might want to get together with friends and create a simple goodbye and celebration of his or her life. Hospitals offer grief workshops; it’s helpful to have a support group that understands what you’re going through. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is the expert on death and grief. She says, “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.”


Q: I’m having procrastination problems big time. How can I get myself to take action?

A: Start with behavior modification: Give yourself rewards for taking action. Put one task that needs to be done on an index card with the steps to achieve it written on the back. Sort the cards by high priority and just focus on the high priority task so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Establish a routine where you allocate say an hour a day to work on the number one task. You’ll get more energy once you complete your goal. You can adopt the successful model of 12-step programs for addicts and find a buddy who can support you, check on you, and encourage you to get past the feeling of powerlessness. Also, talk to your inner child subpersonality who may be sabotaging your success. Imagine that you are having a conversation with an encouraging fairy godmother. What would she say to the recalcitrant child in you? Here’s a useful article on procrastination.



Q: My adult children are upset that I asked their drunk father to move out. They have drinking problems too.

A: Sometimes tough love is in order. Attend Al-Anon so you have support to continue doing the right thing by not enabling addiction. You have no obligation to spend time with adult addicts.


Q: I don’t have any hope for my future, no girlfriend, am a single dad with money issues and little free time after a physically tiring job. How can I feel better?

A: The billion hungry people on the planet would love to have your problems, as would infertile couples, and the unemployed. Write down one thing you’re grateful for each morning as studies show gratitude and meditation improves mood. Email me for my ebook on mental health remedies and check out Dr. Andrew Weil’s books and website. Avoid depressants like alcohol and toxins like tobacco. Exercise is the best natural remedy for feeling better, worth getting up a half hour earlier to structure into your day. Eckhart Tolle suggests, “Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. . .this will miraculously transform your whole life.”


Q: My boss is irrational and controlling, not supportive in many ways. I like the people I work with but not my boss. What can I do about this problem?

A: You probably can’t change your boss but you can change your reactions to the problem. Add humor and playfulness, as by silently giving your boss points for the most irrational event of the day. Amusement provides perspective. Think of your life as a pie with slices. Reduce the amount of energy you give to work. Snap your fingers when you leave work to separate from it emotionally. Create fun and adventure in areas where you have more control.


Q: How do I save money?

A: First, keep track of every expenditure for a month, determine a realistic budget and stick to it. Limit your use of credit cards for non-essential purchases. See what you can cut out, such as not buying drinks, rather making coffee or tea at home and bringing it with you in a thermos. Buy household cleaning items like vinegar at a dollar store and recycled clothes at second hand shops that fund charities. You can negotiate the price of subscriptions to the Internet, newspaper, etc. If you have a yard include a few hens to eat your leftovers and fertilize your garden (Rhode Island Reds are steady egg producers) or join a community garden. Bike instead of drive. With the money you save, give to your favorite causes and if you itemize your taxes, deduct your donations. For more ideas, see my goddaughter’s books, Be Thrifty: How to Live Better with Less and Bring Your Lunch: Quick and Tasty Wallet-Friendly Lunches for Grown-Ups by Califia Suntree. Author Suzy Orman also provides many resources for money management and emphasizes the importance of compound interest on your regular savings plan. I like Pax World mutual funds for savings because they’re “green” and perform well.


Q: My partner is mean to me and every request is a demand. How do I change him?

A: Model the kind of behavior you’d like. Use “I feel…because… and suggest…as a possible solution,” so he’s clear what bothers you and what he can do about it. If he won’t go to a therapist to learn better communication skills, you may need to leave him as it’s difficult to change people. Live is too short to be miserable and we all deserve to be treated with kindness.


Q: I’m a recent college graduate, very pessimistic about a job search. How can I get motivated?

A: It’s true that 44% of recent grads are unemployed, and many will find work in jobs that don’t require a degree, but the job growth is in jobs that require a college education. College grads earn a lot more on average than high school grads. It only takes one good job and 66% are getting jobs. Change your self-talk from “I can’t” to “It just takes one job, I’m in the 66%.” Your irrational pessimistic self-personality is running the show. Read Voice Dialogue about how our sub-personalities operate and the importance of encouraging the rational self to run the show.



Shamanic Tools

Shamanic tools. IONS

http://universalshamanadvanced.com/course/UniversalShamanAdvanced/bundled  $1400

book is $5



Videos on YouTube:



Tools discussed in the phone intro

Eunseno—unrestricted mind, liminal state before sleep, a portal, a horizon that opens. Before open eyes in morning, raise vibration field. Through breathing and muscle tension tension, allows spirit double to pop out of physical beyond boundaries of time and shape. Journey to superior domains, akaschic fields, to receive instruction. Dealing with nonlocality, extending your consciousness, soul, ba (Egyptian term).


Salt around bed south to south clockwise protects against negativity. Salt on the roof and in cardinal directions helps with emfs.


Divination: see changes in altar, bird calls.

Daily tips on Twitter


for daily tips on health, relationships, enjoying life, etc.


Gayle Kimball Vita




* BA, UC Berkley

* Teaching credential,UCB



* Ph.D., UCSB (Religious Studies)




* LA City Schools, history teacher

* CSU, Chico, Professor of Women’s Studies and Sociology

* Teacher and director, Earth Haven: Center for Spiritual Enrichment




* Essential Energy Tools (Book, 2 CDs, and 3 videos)

* 21st Century Families: Blueprints for Family-Friendly Workplaces, Schools

and Governments. (Equality Press)

* Energy Tools for Success (Equality Press)

* How to Create Your Ideal Workplace (Equality Press)

* The Teen Trip: The Complete Resource Guide (Equality Press)

* 50/50 Parenting (Lexington Books)

* 50/50 Marriage (Beacon Press)

* ed. Everything You Need to Know to Succeed After College (Equality Press)

* How to Survive Your Parents’ Divorce (Equality Press)

* ed. Women’s Culture (Scarecrow Press).

* Numerous videotapes.


Media Appearances


* ABC National News

* Geraldo

* Hour Magazine

* Late Night America

* The Michael Jackson radio show

* Regional TV and radio shows (i.e. Seattle, SanFrancisco, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Denver)


Dr. Gayle Lotus Guide advice column preview

April 2014 column uncut preview for Lotus Guide

Q: I have an entity who won’t leave me alone. How do I get rid of him?

A: It looks like he was a Civil War soldier who was madly in love with you and still is obsessed with you. Talk to him like you would a misbehaving dog, declare firmly and clearly to go to his own place. Send him the image of his guardian spirit assisting him to move on to a place where he can find love. Imagine a contract between the two of you; stamp it with today’s date, write VOID, and tear it up and burn it. Visualize clearing any energy that’s not your own from each of the seven major chakras. Experiment with visualizing different colors to see which are inhospitable for him, starting with an earthy brown or an electric blue. Then ignore him and focus on your goals and enjoying each day.

Q: My elderly mother is going to die soon. How do I handle this loss?

A: Don Juan in the Carlos Castaneda books said that death is over the left shoulder for all of us. Write love letters and put them with your will. Of course tell your mother what you love about her. It helps to have something of hers like a letter or favorite possession to remind you of her. Send her the mental picture of helpful guides helping her make the transition to the other side. You can imagine a green energy cord connecting your heart to hers so you both feel the connection during her transition. Michael Newton’s books explain what it’s like on the other side, based on his hypnotic regression of his clients. Sylvia Browne writes about communication between those of us with bodies and those who transitioned. She says the spirits who love us watch over us and communication is possible. My grandmother opened kitchen cabinets and popped corks to say hello after she passed on.

Q: I‘m exhausted, dealing with work being messed up and instructions that did not make sense.  All my bosses want is to ruin my life. They’re not jus bullies, they researched about my parents and past work experience.

A: Document discrimination and harassment. Put your grievances in writing to your boss with specific remedies that you think are fair. If you can afford it, consult with an employment attorney about your letter. Your case is stronger if you can show a pattern; try to find former employees. Contact the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). It’s illegal to discriminate because of race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), and disability. They will set up a mediation. If you get fired because of this, be sure and tell EEOC. You may be able qualify for unemployment benefits. In the meantime, make your weekends fun; don’t let them control your life outside of work. At work, imagine them as bratty little kids who make you laugh. Look at it as practice in holding your own. Don’t let them win by making you miserable. Your best offense is to be happy.

Q: My ex stole from me, lied in court, how can I forgive her?

A: Imagine a timeline going back into the past. Send your resentment back to its origins. Do a ceremony where you let go, such as burn a photograph of her or throw rocks into water, then write down your goals for the future. If you believe in karma and reincarnation, think about the fact that you’ve probably done some terrible things in the past that require forgiveness. If you have children together, you can focus on your gratitude for them. Ongoing resentment is harmful to your immune system, so focus on the present by thinking of today’s date, and future fun.

Q. I feel very out of sorts, affected by others; it stinks, I’m still trying to get centered and grounded, but I’m really influenced by other people’s energies, even my computer. I feel it in my gut. What can I do to feel more comfortable?

A: Your first chakra looks too open. Visualize it like an upside down cone at the base of your spine about 40% open. The chakra’s dimension is about the size of your thumb and first finger touching, making a circle. Imagine running your female energy from the ovaries (or the etheric ovaries if they’ve been removed), maybe a peachy pink color, looping up the spine over the head and down the midline of the body. Men can run male energy from the testicles, perhaps red or orange. Male students in my energy tools classes have done this at parties and women always walk over to meet them. The idea is to create a strong energy field that won’t absorb outside energies.

Q: My husband and I have tried for years to get pregnant. Although the doctor says we’re both healthy, no action. What can I do to have a baby?

A: Identify ways that you’re different from your own mother. Know that you’ll parent differently than her. Use a basal thermometer to know when you ovulate. Visualize the fertilized egg being embraced and nurtured by the uterine lining, cozy and warm and safe. Imagine talking to the sprit of your baby, inviting her or him into your life. You’ve heard about couples who adopt a baby and then get pregnant because they’re not trying, they’re relaxed. Exercise and meditate to stay relaxed. Let go and let God or higher power.

Q: I have obsessive self-critical thoughts that make me anxious. How can I quiet them?

A: It doesn’t work to say no to the out-of-control inner critic, as that just emphasizes the negative thoughts. Acknowledge the judgments like you would acknowledge a child’s nightmare, and then start creating a positive voice. Your critic feels like a teen boy, rather rash and angry. Call forth your wise man to give him kind counsel. It’s fine to make up this new inner voice because the unconscious doesn’t know the different between belief and reality. An example, if a hypnotherapist tells a subject I’m touching a cigarette to your skin, but actually uses a pencil, the body will blister. Another example is people with multiple personalities (dissociative identity disorder) have very different health issues with different “alters.” One may be diabetic and the other personality not, one wear glasses and the other not. Read about the inner critic from the viewpoint of Voice Dialogue therapists (http://delos-inc.com/articles/The_Inner_Critic.htm)

Q: My girlfriend was a yo-yo but I still obsess about her and what I could have done to save our relationship. How can I get over her?

A: It doesn’t work to repress obsessive thoughts. Simply acknowledge them and replace them with a positive thought such as I am ready for a healthy happy relationship. We tend to repeat a childhood wound until it’s healed, so be clear about the pattern in the kind of women you find attractive. Walk away from women who seem initially very compelling but familiar. Being uncertain creates anxiety that can seem like intense love, but it’s not. In a future non-yo-yo relationship, it may seem boring so be prepared to create excitement in healthy ways, not through uncertainty.

Q: My husband left me for another woman can’t get over it, as I thought we had a happy marriage. How can I get on with my life?

A: I’d approach it like a death, as it was the death of the marriage. A trauma usually is more painful when it triggers past hurts, in your case, abandonment. I’d work with a therapist to clean this out so you have emotional freedom. You’ve probably gone through the stages of grieving so now tell yourself to move on. Picture yourself walking down a beautiful path leading to new adventures. When the old tape starts playing in your mind, imagine immediately taking it out and replacing it with a tape that says, “I am manifesting a juicy meaningful life.” Consider participating in a singles’ group and at least once a week go to an activity where you could meet new people.

Q: I am a vet who did tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now I don’t feel safe going out in crowds, so the thought of using my GI bill to go to college is scary. Any hope for me?

A: Emotional Freedom Technique works well on PTSD. Check out this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4hhMm8qsCs. Ease into college slowly by taking one class that really interests you. Come to my energy balancings on Wednesdays for tune-ups and my energy tools workshop teaches basic grounding, centering, and other ways to harness the power of thought.

Q: I’ve suffered from a lot of anxiety and worry because my boyfriend of several years told me he’d like to have an open relationship. I don’t know what to do.

A: I’d follow Non-Violent Communication advice to focus on the need. The two of you should try to understand does he want more variety? You could role-play different people with costumes and such. Does he need to check out if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? He may want to act on that need, but you need to be true to your principles. Some people are comfortable with polyandry and some are not. No one is worth a violation of your principles: You’d just end up resenting him.

Q: Since childhood I’ve been a slob. I have piles of clutter around my house but can’t seem to make them disappear.

A: Get a bunch of file folders. Spend a half hour a day at the same time sorting through the piles of papers. Put on your favorite music to motivate you to move. Consider hiring a student to help you and get you started. Think about the groups that can make good use of your unused clothes, books, etc. You might want to plan a party so your friends can enjoy your “new” home to give you a deadline.

Q: I’ve retired and don’t know what to do with myself. It’s hard to get out of my pajamas.

A: Decide on goals for what you want to develop and learn, physically—start a regular gym habit; mentally—take a class, go to the library, join a book group; spiritually—if you don’t have a regular spiritual practice, explore the variety of churches, temples, synagogue, mosques, etc. in your town. It helps to have a buddy to do these activities with and give yourself rewards for following through. If weight is an issue, explore the various groups that assist people in getting to a healthy weight. Rather than talking about loosing weight, which scares some bodies, talk about a return to a healthy weight. Be firm about exercising daily.

Q: I have lots of ideas and need to apply them to make more money. I just get distracted and end up not completing anything.

A: Get different colored index cards. Write one idea on one card. Colors indicate themes, such as house projects or investing. On the back, list steps to complete that goal. Spread the cards in front of you. Prioritize them. Focus on the top card only. Set aside a specific period of time each day to work on the top card. Don’t allow yourself to do a time waster like social media or TV until you’ve made progress on the top card. If you have ADD, read a book by an MD with ADD about how he succeeds: Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward M. Hallowell.

Q: I came up in a middle-class family, have a college education, and raised my two children. After a terrible divorce, everything fell apart. I’m living in a homeless shelter, have nothing. What now?

A: The shelter can refer you to resources to find a job, a support group, and housing. Think of this as a fresh start to create a good life using your experience as a resource that you didn’t have when you were 20. It could be worse if you lived in Afghanistan, Sudan, or North Korea!

Q: Life is so busy with kids, a job, and going back to college. How can I get more done with less stress?

A: Bundle tasks. For example, when you take a shower, also shampoo your hairbrush and clean out drain strainers. Avoid going out on one errand. When you see a holiday or birthday gift possibility during the year, buy it and put it in your gift box so you avoid holiday crowds. Deep exhalations calm the nervous system. With your family, make a list of all the tasks needed to run your household, including social responsibilities, finances, car maintenance, etc. Assign points to the tasks; cleaning the toilet will get more points than watering plants. Then, take turn picking tasks until everyone has their fair share. Decide on consequences for not doing a task and rewards. Have a weekend family housecleaning hour with motivating music, followed by a fun activity to celebrate working together to create a clean house.

Q: My dreams are remarkably vivid and powerful. What are your thoughts on dreams?

A: There’s the best way to understand the unconscious mind. It’s the 80% of the iceberg that’s under the water and propels it, so it’s vital to be aware of our unconscious personalities, such as what Carl Jung calls the shadow. If we’re not conscious, the shadow projects on others irrationally, like falling in love with unhealthy people.

Q: I’m going out with a high maintenance princess who I enjoy in many ways, except her super critical expectation that I won’t meet her standards.

A: Do not try to resolve any emotional issues by text or email. Remember that 80% of communication is nonverbal. You need to see facial expression and body language, be able to hug or have a pillow fight. Give the princess feedback about how you feel when you’re criticized; hold your own integrity.

Q: I molested as a child. He told me he’d kill me if I told. In my 20s now, I still carry around some of the bad feelings.

A: I hope you’ve seen a counselor to assist you in sorting through those feelings of shame, anger, and powerlessness.

Q: My boyfriend is using meth, but I love him, can’t stay away from him.

A: Read about co-dependency, go to an AlAnon group, don’t  see him until he’s been in rehab and has a track record of sobriety.

Q: If I bring up something that bothers me in our relationship, our partner feels I’m being abrasive and argumentative.

A: A relationship won’t last if hurts, disagreements and small conflicts are gunnysacked, rather than brought into the light to be resolved. Both of you need to be clear of what this kind of confrontation reminds her of in her past relationships and specific triggers such as a loud voice. It’s important to be aware of the “ghosts” from parents and past partners. Ask for permission to raise an issue, “Is now an OK time?” Use the formula, “I feel___ because___. My solution to put on the table is ___.”

How to Achieve your Goals

How to Achieve Your Goals

  1. Balance your energy field with bi-lateral movements and drink water.*


  1. Set a specific realistic goal that you really want. Use positive words such as “a healthy weight” rather than “loose weight” or “put healthy substances in my body” rather than “quit smoking.”

Post a written statement in many places, vehicle, bathroom mirror, etc.


  1. Research actions to take, a plan of specific actions, a strategy. You may want to talk with role models about how they accomplished their goal. Make a vision board so you have real pictures of your goal to emulate.


  1. Decide on daily actions. You may need a support group with the same goal to reinforce each other’s actions.

Reward yourself for taking action.

Avoid procrastination by breaking a task into small parts and doing at least one daily. Schedule in regular time for your action without interruption.


  1. Be aware of self-sabotage and negative thinking, “I don’t deserve,” “I can’t,” “My family would be threatened….” Use Emotional Freedom Technique to clear unconscious blocks.**

Post affirmations than inspire and encourage you. Use visualizations.


  1. Record your progress in a journal or chart. Evaluate your progress once          a week to see if you need to research a different plan of action that works better for you.



*Paul E. Dennison, Ph.D., and Gail E. Dennison developed Brain Gym as explained in Smart Moves by Carla Hannaford, Ph.D.

*Donna Eden. Energy Medicine and http://innersource.net/em/










Julia Ross. The Mood Cure. Penguin Books, 2002.

Gayle Kimball. Essential Energy Tools.

Everything You Need to Know to Succeed After College.

          www.gaylekimball.info. CDs and DVDs.



Calm Mind, Calm Body Techniques

Stress Reduction Workshop:

Use Body and Mind to Get Centered and Grounded

Gayle Kimball, Ph.D.

gkimball@csuchico.edu                                                            www.gaylekimball.info


Chronic stress impairs the immune system, leading to disease, which costs money. Around 25% of the workforce suffers from excessive stress or anxiety (www.stress.org). Long-term stress contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, increased cholesterol, depression, arthritis, type 2 diabetes and certain cancers (according to a study of caregivers of relatives with dementia), divorce, and workplace accidents and injuries. Research shows that tumors transplanted into rats living in stressful situations grow more rapidly. Even wounds take longer to heal when we’re stressed, about 40 percent longer in an Ohio State university study of dental students.

Stress alters the body’s chemistry: Stress hormones encourage formation of fat cells and craving for sugar and fat. A study at Georgetown University, led by Zofia Zukowska, found that mice that were stressed and fed a diet high in sugar and salt gained about twice as much fat in their bellies as non-stressed mice with the same diet. The fat is filled with chemical signals that promote illness and “metabolic syndrome:” (high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol).

Adrenal glands sit on top of the kidneys and secrete hormones that get the body ready for fight or flight. Chronic secretion of these adrenal hormones (such as cortisol) is taxing. Signs of distress include: irritability, fuzziness, fatigue, anxiety, stuttering, difficulty sleeping and concentrating, grinding teeth, upset stomach, headache, sighing, heart palpitations, skin rashes, loss of sexual interest, back pain, nervous tics, stuttering, crying, anxiety, forgetfulness, allergies; feeling tense, hurried, and pressured; difficulty concentrating, loss of humor, withdrawal, hopelessness, frustration, fatigue, eating too much or too little, digestive problems, irritability, high blood pressure (over 120/80), and smoking and drinking to try to calm down. Here are ways to get centered.


  1. Breath work to get oxygen to the brain and activate the parasympathetic system to relax.

*Do 4-8 breathing throughout the day to relax: breath in for the count of 8 from your belly, hold 8, exhale through the mouth like blowing a feather up for 8, and then don’t inhale for as long as comfortable. Author Gay Hendricks reports the latter resets your energy field. Also, try alternate nostril breathing. Put your thumb on one nostril to close it. Breathe in the other nostril, shut it with your middle finger, and exhale out of the first side. The main point is not to breathe shallow quick breaths, which signal stress to the body, but deep slow breaths from the diaphragm which sits under the lungs.


*Crunch up your shoulders and face tightly and count to six. Hold your breath, then release your breath and tension while counting to six again. Stress equates with tension; relax to reduce stress, as by remembering your favorite place in nature or stretching. Release your jaw as well as your shoulders.


*To relax, breath should begin in the diaphragm laterally, expanding the ribs. Imagine breathing in an appealing color. Press in an inch or two in an acupressure point three finger widths below the navel and hold for one to three minutes.


*Relax with minibreaks during the day. Do deep breathing, let your shoulders drop, say, “With every exhalation I release tension and with every inhalation I breathe in relaxation.”


  1. Kinesiology to balance the body. When we get stressed our energy gets scrambled. We can’t think clearly, we are clumsy and bump into things, break things. We get “homolateral,” meaning instead of a right side of the brain connected to the left side of the body, and left side to right side, right is connected to right and left to left. The way to correct is any movement that crosses the midline of the body.

     See the exercises:





a. Make “lazy eights” with your eyes, circling your eyes in an 8 on its side, changing starting to the left or right.


b. Cross Crawl: Stand or sit. Put the right hand across the body to the left knee as you raise it, and then do the same thing for the left hand on the right knee just as if you were marching for about two minutes. Look at your hand as it moves up and over. Breathe in with your tongue on the roof of the mouth. Exhale with the tongue on the floor of the mouth.

c. Hook Ups:

* Stand or sit. Cross the right leg over the left at the ankles.

* Take your right wrist and cross it over the left wrist and link up the fingers so that the right wrist is on top.

* Bend the elbows out and gently turn the fingers in towards the body until they rest on the sternum (breast bone) in the center of the chest. Stay in this position.

*Keep the ankles crossed and the wrists crossed and then breathe evenly in this position for a few minutes. You will be noticeably calmer after that time.

[Paul E. Dennison, Ph.D., and Gail E. Dennison developed Brain Gym as explained in Smart Moves by Carla Hannaford, Ph.D. http://esl.about.com/od/englishlessonplans/a/braingym.htm

*Body Talk balances the brain. http://www.bodytalksystem.com/learn/access/cortices.cfm


  1. 3.    Other Movement

*Make a fist, then open it and allow any tension to flick out from your fingers. *Shake out leftover tension by shaking out your hands and feet, stomping, or doing the twist. Have a funny temper tantrum by sitting, stomping your feet, slapping your thighs, and growling. If you have time, tighten and relax each muscle starting from your feet up to your face, telling the muscle to be warm and heavy in “progressive relaxation.”

*Blow out lifting arms up over your head and down to the earth.

*Roll your head with ear to one shoulder, down and around to the other.

*Do yoga poses such as the child’s pose (like Islamic prayer position) and happy baby (on your back holding your feet up and rocking side to side).


Align the Meridians and Acupressure Points

*With your fist, tap from chest down the arm with palm up, turn arm over and tap on back of arm. Tap along the sides of the legs, like where a pant seam is, up the inside of the legs, down the back of the legs, and up the front.


*Rub meridian points, called the Gate Points by Dr. Devi. Nambudripad  “The first gate is located in the “webbing” between the right thumb and index finger. The second point is the “emotional gate” located on the outside of the right wrist. The third point is located on a point outside of the elbow. The fourth, fifth and sixth points are the same points on the left arm. The seventh point is located to the inside of the left shin. The eighth point is located in the “webbing” between the big toe and the next toe. The ninth and tenth points are the same points on the right leg. Then the first point on the right hand is stimulated a second time.”



*Tap on acupressure points and talk to clear blocks, emotional and physical. Emotional Freedom Technique is explained in Gary Craig’s free manual (available at www.EFTUniverse.com)



*Rub your hands over your ears, front to back, down the neck, and hang on your shoulders with your hands, palms touching the body. This calms the triple warmer meridian associated with the flight or fight stress response. When it’s on too much, it weakens the immune system.

*Rub your feet, hands, and ears which all contain many reflexology points connected to various organs. The theory is reflex areas in the feet and hands correspond to all of the glands, organs and parts of the body. If you find a tender spot, repeat pressing and breathing into it. When rubbing the feet, think of them side by side as representing the body, with the arches representing the spine. The toes are linked to the head, the organs descending down the feet. With over 7,000 nerve endings in each foot, it’s useful to give them attention.

*Massage your face, scalp and shoulders, tap (use a hair brush for your back), rub, stretch the skin, or gently pull the hair at the roots. Rub your gums through your cheeks. Circle your jaw. Try acupuncture, reflexology, and yoga.[i]

*Rub your palms together and rest them over your eyes, visualizing black velvet cloth for two or three minutes to relax your eyes. Periodically look away from your computer.


4. Self-Talk, Cognitive Restructuring

Gratitude and love are the strongest emotions, so when you wake up say something like, “I’m in loving gratitude that I am alive and healthy with people I love, learning something new every day.” Write in your gratitude journal daily.


University of California, Davis Professor Robert Emmons, author of a book called Thanks, studies the impact of gratitude–so far with over 2,000 subjects ages 8 to 80. In his studies, one group writes a gratitude journal every day including five things they’re grateful for. The second group writes about the hassles of the day. The third does neither. All three groups are monitored for their emotional, personal, and interpersonal well being. Yes, the gratitude journal group had higher well being, physical and emotional. College students who wrote the journals made 20% more progress than the other two groups on six goals they set for themselves by the end of two months.

Dr. Emmons suggests actions we can take to become more positive and grateful: keep a daily gratitude journal, think back on difficult experiences to realize how far you’ve come, identify ungrateful thoughts, enjoy your senses, use visual reminders such as a “I am grateful” wrist band, watch your language to make sure it’s constructive, make a vow to practice gratitude, send a thank you letter to an important person in your life, and think outside the box. He recommends watching a short video on www.gratefulness.org. Observe what you manifest by keeping a gratitude journal.

Changing your attitude and self-talk is a major tool to reduce stress. See www.positivepsychology.org for evidence that positive attitude leads to greater health and success. Your reaction to a stressor is what counts. As Mark Twain said, “I have had a great many troubles in my life, and most never happened.” Much earlier, Epictetus observed, “People are disturbed, not by events, but by their view of those events.” Be amused at the challenges you’ve selected. People with “hardiness” and “internal locus of control” handle stress better. They view problems as challenges and the opportunity to growth rather than as a threat and believe they have control over their lives.

Use positive self-talk. Richard Bach said, “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hand.” Give yourself and others more praise than criticism. Change your attitude to the glass is half full and to amusement.

*Look for the positive lessons in a challenging problem. If you didn’t do well, think about what you learned from the experience rather than beating yourself up. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.

*Decide how perfectly a task needs to be done, rather than trying to do everything perfectly.

*Avoid negative people and situations.

*Avoid “awfulizing,” “magnifying,” “catastrophizing,” “overgeneralizing,” “polarized thinking and habitual urgency and “hurry sickness.”


5. Visualizations to Reduce Stress

I teach and write about what I call “Energy tools” to harness the power of the mind through simple visualizations. Athletes who imagine a perfect performance have better outcomes. The goal is to be the pilot of your own plane, the driver of your own car, rather than being directed by back seat drivers. Most people go through life tuned into other people’s favorite radio stations, rather than their own preferences. We need to clear out more space to contain our own information and to gain confidence about using our minds. You decide when you want to engage rather than being sucked in by games people play and be bounced around like a ping-pong ball.

Scientists who study our thoughts found the secret of a strong mind is intentions, when you really decide to do something. Thoughts are so powerful the body responds to them, even to something that’s not real. Have you seen a scary movie and jumped or your heart started beating faster? A movie is just colored light on a flat screen but your feelings about it make your body change. Imagine eating your favorite food or a lemon and your mouth may water.


*Imagine a secret garden of your own where you can plant flowers and trees, create ponds and waterfalls, and watch wild animals move around your garden. See it change with the seasons as you visit month after month. When you want an answer to a question, go to your garden, sit on your favorite bench under your special tree, and ask the wisest creature in your garden to sit by you on the bench with an answer to your question. See a scroll with the answer in the animal’s beak, paw, or mouth.

*Think about your day as a song, and set the tempo and mood you want as you get ready in the morning. [15 minutes]


The Institute of Heart Math (www.heartmath.org) developed stress-reduction techniques. The institute does scientific studies about the heart, showing it’s much more than a pump. Its powerful electromagnetic field influences the brain and people around us. HeartMath studies prove the effectiveness of their technique called “Freeze Frame” in making the heartbeat more coherent and peaceful.


Freeze Frame to Reduce Stress

1. Freeze frame the stressful feeling, as you would put a video on pause.

2. Shift your focus to your heart by imagining you’re breathing deeply through it, for at least 10 seconds. Keep your awareness here rather than on the problem.

3. Remember a positive time, as when you felt deep love, caring, forgiveness or appreciation, and experience that feeling. Don’t visualize, as this takes you to your head, just sense and feel. This memory causes the heart rate to move to a coherent rhythm.

4.Using your intuition and common sense, ask your heart what would be a more effective response to the situation that would reduce stress? Listen to the answer and be patient.


6. Visualizations to Ground, Center, Energize and Be Safe


A grounding pipe is a line of energy from you into the earth that makes you feel secure and strong, and allows for release and for cleansing your space. The more widely used term is grounding cord, but it’s actually more like a pipe, in that it’s hollow to release excesses and toxins from the body. It also creates an anchor to make you feel safe and connected to mother earth as you use your energy tools to achieve your goal.

Imagine you have a powerful flashlight to shine down from the bottom of your spine all the way to the center of the planet. We’re playing with symbols or pictures as a way to move energy, in this case a technique to create a line of connection from you to the earth. Put something you like down in the center to attract your attention there.


More Energy

Whenever you release old habits down your grounding cord, you need to fill up with fresh golden energy visualizing a sun, or else the same kind of gunk could flow back in. Imagine a big gold sun about five feet above your head. Fill it with clear gold energy and your goals, like feeling energetic. Then unzip the gold sun, or pour the healing energy out like rain.

Have the gold light drain onto the top of your head and into your brain, down your neck and shoulders and arms, down your spine into your torso and your pelvis, down your thighs, into your knees and out your feet. Fill all the trillions of cells.

Imagine filling your sun with different colors and textures, such as honey, sparkles, or bubbles. See if you notice subtle changes. Do you notice any places where the light can’t flow? How does the light feel in different parts of your body? Use it as a diagnostic tool to scan your body, asking the energy to light up any organ, gland, or body part that needs your attention. If something lights up, conduct what feels like an imaginary conversation with it, but can actually be informative.

Get Centered and Calm

Imagine a room in the middle of your head with only you in it. Decorate it and create windows with great views. Put a throne in the middle of the room and be the ruler. This is a way to feel like the boss of your own body and how you feel. It keeps you in your body rather than “spacing out” and aligns with the neutral 6th chakra, our clear inner vision.


Be Aware of Your Energy Bubble to Feel Safe

Imagine a beautiful bubble around you, filling with the aura borealis to energize, adjust, clear. Surround it with flowers to capture negative energy before it gets to you. Blow them up with firecrackers when they get wilted and create new ones.


7. Time Management

*Make a pie chart, a circle in which you draw what percentage of the circle you spend on various activities. Is this the wisest way to allocate your time?


*Get or make a stack of different colored index cards. One color could signal personal tasks and another work tasks, for example. Write one task per card, and then spread the cards out in front of you. List on the back the actions needed to achieve the goal. They’re already grouped by theme by their color. Then take each stack of cards and shuffle to reflect your top priority; which task is most important and time-sensitive for a deadline? Enter your priority tasks on your monthly calendar, such as, Monday: call Ms. X. Reward yourself for sticking to your plan. Regarding the cards on the bottom of your stack, delegate, pay or trade someone to do them, or say No.





*Free newsletter about wellness and spirituality



*Free column “Ask Dr. Gayle” (email me for the 150 page compilation)


*Telephone personal coaching sessions (530) 345-8118

*Blog with useful articles https://gaylekimball.wordpress.com/


* Essential Energy Tools (Book, 2 CDs, and 3 videos)

* 21st Century Families: Blueprints for Family-Friendly Workplaces, Schools

and Governments. (Equality Press)

* How to Create Your Ideal Workplace (Equality Press)

* The Teen Trip: The Complete Resource Guide (Equality Press)

* 50/50 Parenting (Lexington Books)

* 50/50 Marriage (Beacon Press)

* ed. Everything You Need to Know to Succeed After College (Equality Press)

* How to Survive Your Parents’ Divorce (Equality Press)

* ed. Women’s Culture (Scarecrow Press).



Your Notes

Work and Financial Success

Work and financial success questions and answers


Meditation, Wellness, Clairvoyance Resources

Guided Meditation & Energy Tools with Gayle Kimballphoto

Contact:  gkimball@csuchico.edu; www.gaylekimball.info; my blog


Resources: newsletter—health, spirituality, events. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EarthHaven/

Energy Tools book, meditation CD, Kids’ Mind Power CD, 3 DVDS on energy tools and developing your intuition and healing abilities.

Class at Yoga Center of Chico, Thursdays 1:30 to 3 PM

Lotus Guide column “Ask Dr. Gayle”photo

Free individual energy balancings, Wed eves 5-7 pm, 1190 E. 1st Ave and 2nd Sunday, 1-4 PM.

Email me for handouts on stress reduction, kinesiology, EFT, etc.

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“Meditation is often touted as an important habit for improving focus, clarity and attention span, as well as helping to keep you calm. It turns out it’s also useful for improving your happiness:

In one study, a research team from Massachusetts General Hospital looked at the brain scans of 16 people before and after they participated in an eight-week course in mindfulness meditation. The study, published in the January issue of Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, concluded that after completing the course, parts of the participants’ brains associated with compassion and self-awareness grew, and parts associated with stress shrank.”


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