Reminder on the occasion of his supposed birthday that Jesus was a radical who violated Old Testament taboos against discussing theology with women including a woman of ill repute, said it was better for women to be talking theology than be in the kitchen like Martha, healed bleeding people and gentiles, overturned the money changer’s tables in the temple, said it was hard for rich people to get to heaven, be like children, said to turn the other cheek and it’s spirit that counts rather than the letter of the law. The only current Christian world leader I can think of who acts and speaks as a Christian is Pope Francis. All the supposed Christian politicians who cut social welfare programs and education are the opposite of Christian.Reminder on the occasion of his supposed birthday that Jesus was a radical who violated Old Testament taboos against discussing theology with women including a woman of ill repute, said it was better for women to be talking theology than be in the kitchen like Martha, healed bleeding people and gentiles, overturned the money changer’s tables in the temple, said it was hard for rich people to get to heaven, be like children, said to turn the other cheek and it’s spirit that counts rather than the letter of the law. The only current Christian world leader I can think of who acts and speaks as a Christian is Pope Francis. All the supposed Christian politicians who cut social welfare programs and education are the opposite of Christian.
Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category
I believe in a diversified portfolio, land, green mutual funds (I like Pax World, socially pure and profitable), some gold coins such as US Gold Eagles or Canadian Maple Leafs, and a savings account for liquidity. If you have kids in your life, open a college saving account for them sponsored by states—it doesn’t have to be the state where you live. You could set aside some of these assets for your favorite cause so your money keeps on doing good after you pass on. You can do this by creating a life insurance policy with the charity as the beneficiary to bypass probate.
LG Sept 2014 column
Q: I haven’t had great success in selecting boyfriends. Suggestions?
A: We pick the familiar in terms of our childhood experiences with our parents, so work with a therapist to identify your patterns. When you find yourself attracted to the old type, be very mindful and cautious. Men who have controlling dominating mothers tend to be withholding because of their fear of losing their masculinity, unless they’re open to working on their fears. Guys whose mothers expected them to share in family work and do their own laundry make good partners. Gorgeous men and women can get spoiled and expect their partners to do all the relationship work. You can also compare your natal astrology charts to see where connections tend to be easy or challenging. http://www.alwaysastrology.com/learn-astrology.html
Q: I’d like to age well, keep my energy and health up. Suggestions?
A: Daily exercise is an essential key to mental and physical health. I need to go to gym classes because I wouldn’t do Pilates or Pump for an hour on my own, while gardening provides sunlight and Vitamin D. You can buy a pedometer and aim to get in 10,000 steps a day. Fruits and veggies are essential too, along with fiber and healthy fats like olive oil or avocado. I cheat by including powdered greens and fruits in my smoothies. Having a clear purpose helps us live longer, including a feeling that you’re helping others along the way. For me, it’s writing books, doing energy work, and helping care for my little grandson. Gratitude is also uplifting. I thank my roses and veggies every time I pick them and I chant mantras when I’m gardening or driving. Structure in time for fun and nurturance, for me that’s dancing, hiking, and getting massages. Get ideas for increasing happiness from http://www.happify.com and UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Scientists report that only 10% of our happiness is due to our circumstances such as wealth, while the rest is due to our attitude and activities interacting with our genetics. Worry and negative self-talk harm the immune system, as does repressing emotions. Take my Mind Power workshop at the Yoga Center to get ideas about how to stay balanced mentally and emotionally.
Q: How do I develop clairvoyant abilities?
A: My Essential Energy Tools book, CD and videos are a start. (Kids’ Mind Power is my CD for kids.)
Q: I’m in love with my toddler’s mother but we can’t live together. She’s always creating drama, often screaming and hitting me in front of our daughter. I want to be her rock but I want to get on with my life. I’m feeling like I should run away to an unknown place, far away, and just forget the reality. Sometimes it can be the small things in life that makes the whole cup to overflows. Some days, life just sucks so bad. Any hope for me?
A: Read about borderline personality disorder, then read about co-dependency to realize you probably can’t rescue such a neurotic person. For the sake of your daughter, I wouldn’t spend time with her mom because parental conflict damages kids. Make sure your daughter is in high quality childcare so she has structure and is observed by experts. If you feel like your ex is abusing your daughter, then you need to report it to child protective services and seek sole custody.
Q: It’s difficult for me to be assertive, to speak my own truth. How can I get braver?
A: Imagine matching the energy of an outspoken person such as Angelina Jolie. See some of her action movies to get the feeling of being powerful. Ground and center (see gaylekimball.info), and visualize speaking to people through a filter that clarifies and enhances your message. Assertiveness training workshops and books are available, as are self-defense classes that could teach courage. Start practicing standing up for yourself with small conflicts or misunderstandings and you’ll get stronger.
Q: I get tense about deadlines at work. How can I be more relaxed?
A: When ever you start to get tense, or every hour, breathe in for the count of 8, hold for 8, exhale like holding up a feather as long as it takes to empty your lungs, and don’t breathe for as long as comfortable. The latter resets the energy field, according to breath expert Gay Hendricks. Stretch and walk around to keep your body from getting tense, squat and stand (see Joan Vernikos, Sitting Kills, Moving Heals). Post relaxing pictures in your work space and imagine being in a beautiful place. See http://www.helpguide.org/mental/quick_stress_relief.htm
Q: A good friend of mine died suddenly. How can I cope with my grief?
A: You can still communicate with her, imagine conversing with her. Rituals are helpful in life transitions, so you might want to get together with friends and create a simple goodbye and celebration of his or her life. Hospitals offer grief workshops; it’s helpful to have a support group that understands what you’re going through. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is the expert on death and grief. She says, “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.”
Q: I’m having procrastination problems big time. How can I get myself to take action?
A: Start with behavior modification: Give yourself rewards for taking action. Put one task that needs to be done on an index card with the steps to achieve it written on the back. Sort the cards by high priority and just focus on the high priority task so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Establish a routine where you allocate say an hour a day to work on the number one task. You’ll get more energy once you complete your goal. You can adopt the successful model of 12-step programs for addicts and find a buddy who can support you, check on you, and encourage you to get past the feeling of powerlessness. Also, talk to your inner child subpersonality who may be sabotaging your success. Imagine that you are having a conversation with an encouraging fairy godmother. What would she say to the recalcitrant child in you? Here’s a useful article on procrastination.
Q: My adult children are upset that I asked their drunk father to move out. They have drinking problems too.
A: Sometimes tough love is in order. Attend Al-Anon so you have support to continue doing the right thing by not enabling addiction. You have no obligation to spend time with adult addicts.
Q: I don’t have any hope for my future, no girlfriend, am a single dad with money issues and little free time after a physically tiring job. How can I feel better?
A: The billion hungry people on the planet would love to have your problems, as would infertile couples, and the unemployed. Write down one thing you’re grateful for each morning as studies show gratitude and meditation improves mood. Email me for my ebook on mental health remedies and check out Dr. Andrew Weil’s books and website. Avoid depressants like alcohol and toxins like tobacco. Exercise is the best natural remedy for feeling better, worth getting up a half hour earlier to structure into your day. Eckhart Tolle suggests, “Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. . .this will miraculously transform your whole life.”
Q: My boss is irrational and controlling, not supportive in many ways. I like the people I work with but not my boss. What can I do about this problem?
A: You probably can’t change your boss but you can change your reactions to the problem. Add humor and playfulness, as by silently giving your boss points for the most irrational event of the day. Amusement provides perspective. Think of your life as a pie with slices. Reduce the amount of energy you give to work. Snap your fingers when you leave work to separate from it emotionally. Create fun and adventure in areas where you have more control.
Q: How do I save money?
A: First, keep track of every expenditure for a month, determine a realistic budget and stick to it. Limit your use of credit cards for non-essential purchases. See what you can cut out, such as not buying drinks, rather making coffee or tea at home and bringing it with you in a thermos. Buy household cleaning items like vinegar at a dollar store and recycled clothes at second hand shops that fund charities. You can negotiate the price of subscriptions to the Internet, newspaper, etc. If you have a yard include a few hens to eat your leftovers and fertilize your garden (Rhode Island Reds are steady egg producers) or join a community garden. Bike instead of drive. With the money you save, give to your favorite causes and if you itemize your taxes, deduct your donations. For more ideas, see my goddaughter’s books, Be Thrifty: How to Live Better with Less and Bring Your Lunch: Quick and Tasty Wallet-Friendly Lunches for Grown-Ups by Califia Suntree. Author Suzy Orman also provides many resources for money management and emphasizes the importance of compound interest on your regular savings plan. I like Pax World mutual funds for savings because they’re “green” and perform well.
Q: My partner is mean to me and every request is a demand. How do I change him?
A: Model the kind of behavior you’d like. Use “I feel…because… and suggest…as a possible solution,” so he’s clear what bothers you and what he can do about it. If he won’t go to a therapist to learn better communication skills, you may need to leave him as it’s difficult to change people. Live is too short to be miserable and we all deserve to be treated with kindness.
Q: I’m a recent college graduate, very pessimistic about a job search. How can I get motivated?
A: It’s true that 44% of recent grads are unemployed, and many will find work in jobs that don’t require a degree, but the job growth is in jobs that require a college education. College grads earn a lot more on average than high school grads. It only takes one good job and 66% are getting jobs. Change your self-talk from “I can’t” to “It just takes one job, I’m in the 66%.” Your irrational pessimistic self-personality is running the show. Read Voice Dialogue about how our sub-personalities operate and the importance of encouraging the rational self to run the show.
Shamanic tools. IONS
book is $5
Videos on YouTube:
Tools discussed in the phone intro
Eunseno—unrestricted mind, liminal state before sleep, a portal, a horizon that opens. Before open eyes in morning, raise vibration field. Through breathing and muscle tension tension, allows spirit double to pop out of physical beyond boundaries of time and shape. Journey to superior domains, akaschic fields, to receive instruction. Dealing with nonlocality, extending your consciousness, soul, ba (Egyptian term).
Salt around bed south to south clockwise protects against negativity. Salt on the roof and in cardinal directions helps with emfs.
Divination: see changes in altar, bird calls.
for daily tips on health, relationships, enjoying life, etc.
Gayle Kimball Vita
* BA, UC Berkley
* Teaching credential,UCB
* MA, UCLA
* MA, UCSB
* Ph.D., UCSB (Religious Studies)
* LA City Schools, history teacher
* CSU, Chico, Professor of Women’s Studies and Sociology
* Teacher and director, Earth Haven: Center for Spiritual Enrichment
* Essential Energy Tools (Book, 2 CDs, and 3 videos)
* 21st Century Families: Blueprints for Family-Friendly Workplaces, Schools
and Governments. (Equality Press)
* Energy Tools for Success (Equality Press)
* How to Create Your Ideal Workplace (Equality Press)
* The Teen Trip: The Complete Resource Guide (Equality Press)
* 50/50 Parenting (Lexington Books)
* 50/50 Marriage (Beacon Press)
* ed. Everything You Need to Know to Succeed After College (Equality Press)
* How to Survive Your Parents’ Divorce (Equality Press)
* ed. Women’s Culture (Scarecrow Press).
* Numerous videotapes.
* ABC National News
* Hour Magazine
* Late Night America
* The Michael Jackson radio show
* Regional TV and radio shows (i.e. Seattle, SanFrancisco, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Denver)
April 2014 column uncut preview for Lotus Guide
Q: I have an entity who won’t leave me alone. How do I get rid of him?
A: It looks like he was a Civil War soldier who was madly in love with you and still is obsessed with you. Talk to him like you would a misbehaving dog, declare firmly and clearly to go to his own place. Send him the image of his guardian spirit assisting him to move on to a place where he can find love. Imagine a contract between the two of you; stamp it with today’s date, write VOID, and tear it up and burn it. Visualize clearing any energy that’s not your own from each of the seven major chakras. Experiment with visualizing different colors to see which are inhospitable for him, starting with an earthy brown or an electric blue. Then ignore him and focus on your goals and enjoying each day.
Q: My elderly mother is going to die soon. How do I handle this loss?
A: Don Juan in the Carlos Castaneda books said that death is over the left shoulder for all of us. Write love letters and put them with your will. Of course tell your mother what you love about her. It helps to have something of hers like a letter or favorite possession to remind you of her. Send her the mental picture of helpful guides helping her make the transition to the other side. You can imagine a green energy cord connecting your heart to hers so you both feel the connection during her transition. Michael Newton’s books explain what it’s like on the other side, based on his hypnotic regression of his clients. Sylvia Browne writes about communication between those of us with bodies and those who transitioned. She says the spirits who love us watch over us and communication is possible. My grandmother opened kitchen cabinets and popped corks to say hello after she passed on.
Q: I‘m exhausted, dealing with work being messed up and instructions that did not make sense. All my bosses want is to ruin my life. They’re not jus bullies, they researched about my parents and past work experience.
A: Document discrimination and harassment. Put your grievances in writing to your boss with specific remedies that you think are fair. If you can afford it, consult with an employment attorney about your letter. Your case is stronger if you can show a pattern; try to find former employees. Contact the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). It’s illegal to discriminate because of race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), and disability. They will set up a mediation. If you get fired because of this, be sure and tell EEOC. You may be able qualify for unemployment benefits. In the meantime, make your weekends fun; don’t let them control your life outside of work. At work, imagine them as bratty little kids who make you laugh. Look at it as practice in holding your own. Don’t let them win by making you miserable. Your best offense is to be happy.
Q: My ex stole from me, lied in court, how can I forgive her?
A: Imagine a timeline going back into the past. Send your resentment back to its origins. Do a ceremony where you let go, such as burn a photograph of her or throw rocks into water, then write down your goals for the future. If you believe in karma and reincarnation, think about the fact that you’ve probably done some terrible things in the past that require forgiveness. If you have children together, you can focus on your gratitude for them. Ongoing resentment is harmful to your immune system, so focus on the present by thinking of today’s date, and future fun.
Q. I feel very out of sorts, affected by others; it stinks, I’m still trying to get centered and grounded, but I’m really influenced by other people’s energies, even my computer. I feel it in my gut. What can I do to feel more comfortable?
A: Your first chakra looks too open. Visualize it like an upside down cone at the base of your spine about 40% open. The chakra’s dimension is about the size of your thumb and first finger touching, making a circle. Imagine running your female energy from the ovaries (or the etheric ovaries if they’ve been removed), maybe a peachy pink color, looping up the spine over the head and down the midline of the body. Men can run male energy from the testicles, perhaps red or orange. Male students in my energy tools classes have done this at parties and women always walk over to meet them. The idea is to create a strong energy field that won’t absorb outside energies.
Q: My husband and I have tried for years to get pregnant. Although the doctor says we’re both healthy, no action. What can I do to have a baby?
A: Identify ways that you’re different from your own mother. Know that you’ll parent differently than her. Use a basal thermometer to know when you ovulate. Visualize the fertilized egg being embraced and nurtured by the uterine lining, cozy and warm and safe. Imagine talking to the sprit of your baby, inviting her or him into your life. You’ve heard about couples who adopt a baby and then get pregnant because they’re not trying, they’re relaxed. Exercise and meditate to stay relaxed. Let go and let God or higher power.
Q: I have obsessive self-critical thoughts that make me anxious. How can I quiet them?
A: It doesn’t work to say no to the out-of-control inner critic, as that just emphasizes the negative thoughts. Acknowledge the judgments like you would acknowledge a child’s nightmare, and then start creating a positive voice. Your critic feels like a teen boy, rather rash and angry. Call forth your wise man to give him kind counsel. It’s fine to make up this new inner voice because the unconscious doesn’t know the different between belief and reality. An example, if a hypnotherapist tells a subject I’m touching a cigarette to your skin, but actually uses a pencil, the body will blister. Another example is people with multiple personalities (dissociative identity disorder) have very different health issues with different “alters.” One may be diabetic and the other personality not, one wear glasses and the other not. Read about the inner critic from the viewpoint of Voice Dialogue therapists (http://delos-inc.com/articles/The_Inner_Critic.htm)
Q: My girlfriend was a yo-yo but I still obsess about her and what I could have done to save our relationship. How can I get over her?
A: It doesn’t work to repress obsessive thoughts. Simply acknowledge them and replace them with a positive thought such as I am ready for a healthy happy relationship. We tend to repeat a childhood wound until it’s healed, so be clear about the pattern in the kind of women you find attractive. Walk away from women who seem initially very compelling but familiar. Being uncertain creates anxiety that can seem like intense love, but it’s not. In a future non-yo-yo relationship, it may seem boring so be prepared to create excitement in healthy ways, not through uncertainty.
Q: My husband left me for another woman can’t get over it, as I thought we had a happy marriage. How can I get on with my life?
A: I’d approach it like a death, as it was the death of the marriage. A trauma usually is more painful when it triggers past hurts, in your case, abandonment. I’d work with a therapist to clean this out so you have emotional freedom. You’ve probably gone through the stages of grieving so now tell yourself to move on. Picture yourself walking down a beautiful path leading to new adventures. When the old tape starts playing in your mind, imagine immediately taking it out and replacing it with a tape that says, “I am manifesting a juicy meaningful life.” Consider participating in a singles’ group and at least once a week go to an activity where you could meet new people.
Q: I am a vet who did tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now I don’t feel safe going out in crowds, so the thought of using my GI bill to go to college is scary. Any hope for me?
A: Emotional Freedom Technique works well on PTSD. Check out this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4hhMm8qsCs. Ease into college slowly by taking one class that really interests you. Come to my energy balancings on Wednesdays for tune-ups and my energy tools workshop teaches basic grounding, centering, and other ways to harness the power of thought.
Q: I’ve suffered from a lot of anxiety and worry because my boyfriend of several years told me he’d like to have an open relationship. I don’t know what to do.
A: I’d follow Non-Violent Communication advice to focus on the need. The two of you should try to understand does he want more variety? You could role-play different people with costumes and such. Does he need to check out if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? He may want to act on that need, but you need to be true to your principles. Some people are comfortable with polyandry and some are not. No one is worth a violation of your principles: You’d just end up resenting him.
Q: Since childhood I’ve been a slob. I have piles of clutter around my house but can’t seem to make them disappear.
A: Get a bunch of file folders. Spend a half hour a day at the same time sorting through the piles of papers. Put on your favorite music to motivate you to move. Consider hiring a student to help you and get you started. Think about the groups that can make good use of your unused clothes, books, etc. You might want to plan a party so your friends can enjoy your “new” home to give you a deadline.
Q: I’ve retired and don’t know what to do with myself. It’s hard to get out of my pajamas.
A: Decide on goals for what you want to develop and learn, physically—start a regular gym habit; mentally—take a class, go to the library, join a book group; spiritually—if you don’t have a regular spiritual practice, explore the variety of churches, temples, synagogue, mosques, etc. in your town. It helps to have a buddy to do these activities with and give yourself rewards for following through. If weight is an issue, explore the various groups that assist people in getting to a healthy weight. Rather than talking about loosing weight, which scares some bodies, talk about a return to a healthy weight. Be firm about exercising daily.
Q: I have lots of ideas and need to apply them to make more money. I just get distracted and end up not completing anything.
A: Get different colored index cards. Write one idea on one card. Colors indicate themes, such as house projects or investing. On the back, list steps to complete that goal. Spread the cards in front of you. Prioritize them. Focus on the top card only. Set aside a specific period of time each day to work on the top card. Don’t allow yourself to do a time waster like social media or TV until you’ve made progress on the top card. If you have ADD, read a book by an MD with ADD about how he succeeds: Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward M. Hallowell.
Q: I came up in a middle-class family, have a college education, and raised my two children. After a terrible divorce, everything fell apart. I’m living in a homeless shelter, have nothing. What now?
A: The shelter can refer you to resources to find a job, a support group, and housing. Think of this as a fresh start to create a good life using your experience as a resource that you didn’t have when you were 20. It could be worse if you lived in Afghanistan, Sudan, or North Korea!
Q: Life is so busy with kids, a job, and going back to college. How can I get more done with less stress?
A: Bundle tasks. For example, when you take a shower, also shampoo your hairbrush and clean out drain strainers. Avoid going out on one errand. When you see a holiday or birthday gift possibility during the year, buy it and put it in your gift box so you avoid holiday crowds. Deep exhalations calm the nervous system. With your family, make a list of all the tasks needed to run your household, including social responsibilities, finances, car maintenance, etc. Assign points to the tasks; cleaning the toilet will get more points than watering plants. Then, take turn picking tasks until everyone has their fair share. Decide on consequences for not doing a task and rewards. Have a weekend family housecleaning hour with motivating music, followed by a fun activity to celebrate working together to create a clean house.
Q: My dreams are remarkably vivid and powerful. What are your thoughts on dreams?
A: There’s the best way to understand the unconscious mind. It’s the 80% of the iceberg that’s under the water and propels it, so it’s vital to be aware of our unconscious personalities, such as what Carl Jung calls the shadow. If we’re not conscious, the shadow projects on others irrationally, like falling in love with unhealthy people.
Q: I’m going out with a high maintenance princess who I enjoy in many ways, except her super critical expectation that I won’t meet her standards.
A: Do not try to resolve any emotional issues by text or email. Remember that 80% of communication is nonverbal. You need to see facial expression and body language, be able to hug or have a pillow fight. Give the princess feedback about how you feel when you’re criticized; hold your own integrity.
Q: I molested as a child. He told me he’d kill me if I told. In my 20s now, I still carry around some of the bad feelings.
A: I hope you’ve seen a counselor to assist you in sorting through those feelings of shame, anger, and powerlessness.
Q: My boyfriend is using meth, but I love him, can’t stay away from him.
A: Read about co-dependency, go to an AlAnon group, don’t see him until he’s been in rehab and has a track record of sobriety.
Q: If I bring up something that bothers me in our relationship, our partner feels I’m being abrasive and argumentative.
A: A relationship won’t last if hurts, disagreements and small conflicts are gunnysacked, rather than brought into the light to be resolved. Both of you need to be clear of what this kind of confrontation reminds her of in her past relationships and specific triggers such as a loud voice. It’s important to be aware of the “ghosts” from parents and past partners. Ask for permission to raise an issue, “Is now an OK time?” Use the formula, “I feel___ because___. My solution to put on the table is ___.”
How to Achieve Your Goals
- Balance your energy field with bi-lateral movements and drink water.*
- Set a specific realistic goal that you really want. Use positive words such as “a healthy weight” rather than “loose weight” or “put healthy substances in my body” rather than “quit smoking.”
Post a written statement in many places, vehicle, bathroom mirror, etc.
- Research actions to take, a plan of specific actions, a strategy. You may want to talk with role models about how they accomplished their goal. Make a vision board so you have real pictures of your goal to emulate.
- Decide on daily actions. You may need a support group with the same goal to reinforce each other’s actions.
Reward yourself for taking action.
Avoid procrastination by breaking a task into small parts and doing at least one daily. Schedule in regular time for your action without interruption.
- Be aware of self-sabotage and negative thinking, “I don’t deserve,” “I can’t,” “My family would be threatened….” Use Emotional Freedom Technique to clear unconscious blocks.**
Post affirmations than inspire and encourage you. Use visualizations.
- Record your progress in a journal or chart. Evaluate your progress once a week to see if you need to research a different plan of action that works better for you.
*Paul E. Dennison, Ph.D., and Gail E. Dennison developed Brain Gym as explained in Smart Moves by Carla Hannaford, Ph.D.
*Donna Eden. Energy Medicine and http://innersource.net/em/
Julia Ross. The Mood Cure. Penguin Books, 2002.
Gayle Kimball. Essential Energy Tools.
Everything You Need to Know to Succeed After College.
www.gaylekimball.info. CDs and DVDs.