Lotus Guide column March 2015
Q: I function but I’m depressed a lot. What can I do?
A: Read Dr. Stephen Ilardi’s The Depression Cure. He said the depressed brain is like someone getting the flu who wants to shut down. He points out that a trial of 4,000 people treated with drugs like SSRIs reported without fanfare that only 6% of the patients were better after a year of treatment. His approach is to take 1,000 to 2,000 Omega 3 oil daily because the oil is anti-inflammatory and anti-depression, but not made by the body. Also, use a 10,000-lux light box a half hour a day, plus the well-known benefits of exercise, sleep, and social connection. His sixth step is to limit “rumination,” negative self-talk, by engaging in activity instead. He of course recommends seeing a trained clinician.
Q: I’m a teenager who sees white glow around my teacher. She said it’s her aura. What should I do about this?
A: Practice looking at people’s energy fields by focusing a little to the side and drawing what you see. Take notes and see if they’re patterns in what you know about the people—introverts and extroverts, or sick and well. Your teacher might be easier to see because she’s projecting energy to the class. Search the Internet for descriptions of the aura and look at Barbara Brennan’s book Hands of Light. My Essential Energy Tools discusses chakras and how to keep them healthy.
Q: I’m newly in love, thrilled but terrified of getting hurt or him changing his mind. I’m reading the book How to be an Adult in Love (David Richo) that helps. I see myself with him for a long time but it’s scary. It’s super exciting…just scary. How can I keep from getting burned?
A: Take it one day at a time. I’d repeat a mantra like “I’m deeply grateful for creating the loving relationship that I deserve and am ready for. Neither of us is perfect but we can evolve together.” Keep in mind your default reaction is to worry. Say hello to that subpersonality, and then call on your wise adult self to keep you centered and grounded.
Q: There’s lots of cancer in my family. How can I prevent it?
A: My notes on alternative methods are listed on my blog, including turmeric and green tea. To stay healthy I have fun with daily exercise, essential oils, mantras, slow deep breathing, acupressure points, food supplements and juicing, Reiki, doing something helpful for others and meditation. Come to my Mind Power workshop for demonstrations. Avoid sugar and other toxins. An urban legend tells about a boy who successfully visualized PacMan eating up the tumor. Read You are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter by Dr. Joe Dispenza to learn more about the power of thought.
Q: We worked very hard at getting pregnant. Now that I have my baby I feel badly that I haven’t fallen in love with him and kind of resent him. What’s wrong with me?
A: People should warn new parents that babies are agents of torture, waking us up frequently, preventing us from getting simple tasks done, inhibiting spontaneity. A father I interviewed for 50/50 Parenting said having a baby is like getting hit in the head with a golf ball. But, wait until you get your first smile. Love at first sight is rare, and know that the baby will sleep longer once he starts eating solid food around six months. Be sure and start baby sign language now as it’s bonding to be able to understand each other. It may take six months before the baby signs back, but keep at it.
Q: I’m a nice guy, a model and athlete, but I can’t make relationships last with women who seem so emotional. Any hope for me? I’d like to settle down.
A: We pick the familiar so you probably grew up with a drama queen mother. Try EFT with the problem statement, “I’m only attracted to drama queens.” Go slowly when you find yourself quickly attracted to a new woman. Be warned that when you meet a stable woman you may feel bored, so plan to consciously create fun drama by going on little trips to new places, acting out adventures, etc.
Q: My daughter-in-law is crazy and rude, but I need to get along with her for the sake of my grandkids. How?
A: Relate to her as a business partner with politeness or relate to her emotional age, say 12. Praise her when you can and minimize contact. It’s easier if you have a routine time to see the kids that doesn’t require negotiation. Remind her you two are on the same team working for the good of the children.
Q: My boyfriend is emotionally unstable and sometimes can’t see the forest for the trees, but he resists my efforts to keep him healthy. He’s also rude and hangs up on me a lot.
A: Instead of saying, “You should take your vitamins,” ask a question, “Do you think taking your vitamins would be a good idea?” Let him know when he hangs up on you that you understand he doesn’t want to talk to you for the rest of the day and don’t call him back.
Q: My family is selling a large commercial property. What should I do with the money I’ll receive?
A: I believe in a diversified portfolio, land, green mutual funds (I like Pax World, socially pure and profitable), some gold coins such as US Gold Eagles or Canadian Maple Leafs, and a savings account for liquidity. If you have kids in your life, open a college saving account for them sponsored by states—it doesn’t have to be the state where you live. You could set aside some of these assets for your favorite cause so your money keeps on doing good after you pass on. You can do this by creating a life insurance policy with the charity as the beneficiary to bypass probate. A financial advisor and tax expert can save you money.